Love Of Mine
by waddiwasiwitch
Summary: Another execution fic. Roy has been found guilty of war crimes, and Riza comes to visit him. Does that sound familiar? Well this is another take on it, It is not the same universe as Unforgiven.


Ok - so you asked for it. Super angsty.

I promised myself that when I wrote Unforgiven that I wouldn't write another execution fic with a tragic ending. Apparently, I hate myself and the Royai fandom in general.

Sorry in advance for pain. Some lyrics from "Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie. Written for miraculous stardust on Tumblr.

 **Love of Mine**

 _"Love of mine_

 _Someday you will die"_

* * *

Riza holds her head high as she walks through the halls of the prison. Everything is uniform, colourless and drab. Even the staff seem subdued. Close behind her is a heavy set prison officer.

"Straight ahead Miss Hawkeye."

The date of Roy's execution has been set. Two more days. This is a final act of mercy, letting loved ones seem him one last time. She still can't quite believe it.

For a moment, she is back there in the courtroom listening to the judge deliver his verdict.

"Riza Hawkeye you are pardoned from your crimes," the judge said. Riza's gaze was fixed on the floor and she held her breath waiting for her superior officer's verdict. "However, Roy Mustang, you are sentenced to death."

Even as the guards converged on them, Roy seemed strangely calm. He turned and whispered to her, "Please don't follow me."

This was always on the cards for them.

This ending. A parting of the ways, that they had anticipated from the beginning. It did not make it any easier, any less painful.

They had been together for close to two decades.

But he was going into hell, alone. She could not follow him there.

Please don't go where I can't follow, she had said once.

It was never meant to be that way. They were supposed to go out together. She knows that a lot of other people feel that way too. The Hawk's Eye had gotten off too lightly. But they didn't know the half of it.

Riza notices the looks of curiosity and even outright hostility from the staff. She cannot bring herself to care, her own emotions are suffocating enough.

 _Fuck them._

Still, she has no choice but to listen to the disparaging remarks.

"I bet she's here to see him."

She guesses many of them thought he was a hero once. But people are quick to turn, to find scorn where once there was admiration.

"Lucky bitch should have gone down with him."

And she should. As far as she is concerned, she was the instigator of all the terrible things that came after. After all, it was she, who gave him the secrets of flame alchemy. How different things could have been if she had let those secrets die with her? That burden was still hers to carry to the end.

A lump forms in her throat, and she takes a deep breath and blinks away the beginning of tears.

 _I mustn't cry, I need to be strong._

A hand squeezes her shoulder. It startles her from her reverie.

"Ma'am, the visitors' room is the next door on your right," says her companion.

She looks back over her shoulder and the man takes his hand away.

"Thank you," she says.

She opens the door and enters the room. It is emptier than she expected. There is glass pane dividing the room with a table and chair in the middle. Another table and chair were at the other side for Roy's use.

She sits at the chair with her back to the door she came through. Her stomach lurches.

 _It's time. Time to say goodbye._

Alone again, her grief bubbles up. Everything she has pushed down to allow herself to remain functional threatens to overwhelm her. She wipes away a tear from her eye.

 _No - it won't do to fall apart._

She looks down. Her hands form into fists on the table in front of her. Her nails dig hard into her flesh. She imagines the half moon pattern then will leave. She needs a distraction.

 _I need to keep it together until after I see him._

She unclenches her fists.

* * *

"The soles of your shoes are all worn down

 _The time for sleep is now"_

* * *

The door creaks and Riza looks up to see Roy being escorted into the other side of the room. He looks awful, unshaven and thinner than she has ever seen him. His hands are manacled behind his back. A prison officer pushes him towards the chair and helps him sit down.

"You've got ten minutes," the prison guard says gruffly. "I'll be outside."

The guard inclines his head and leaves the room.

Roy is staring at her like he can't really believe she's there. He shakes his head and his face lights up with a smile that he has no business wearing. Not at a time like this when their world is falling apart at the seams. She remains silent unsure where to start.

"You're here," he says. "I'm glad you came."

"Of course, I came. I would have come sooner if they allowed you visitors."

He is still smiling in spite of everything.

Stop,she thinks. I don't want you to be alright with leaving me behind.

"I'm surprised they are giving us privacy."

"It pays to be a model prisoner," he says.

She tries to match his light tone. "You always know how to charm people."

His smile fades for an instant. The smile reappears, but this time Riza can see the plastic. He is trying for her; Just like she is for him.

What's the point? We don't have much time left.

She wishes she could reach out and touch him. He's so close, and yet he is untouchable. But then it was always that way.

She bursts into tears. "Please don't leave me. I still need you."

Her words are pointless, desperate.

He bows his head. "I wish things could be different, but it's time I paid my dues. I've been on borrowed time since the war."

He is not looking at her now.

"What about me? Your sins are my sins. Any blood you spilled, we spilled together. Why should you have to bear it all alone."

"Because I signed up for this." He lifts his head and meets her gaze. His eyes are wet. "I made the mistake of thinking I could use flame alchemy for good."

She shakes her head. "What naive fools we were back then."

A loud knock on the door tells them time is running out. There are so many things she wants to tell him. There is no time. There would never be enough time to show him how much he means to her. But she is sure he knows how much her heart is breaking. They have never needed words to show each how they feel.

"I regret many things, Riza," Roy says. "But I'll never regret knowing you, or loving you. You were, and still are, my everything."

"I love you, Roy," she whispers. "I'll never stop."

"We did the right thing," he says. "I'll gladly pay the price for a better Amestris, and I'm so relieved you will be there to see it."

She almost tells him then - the other miracle he will not be there to witness. She cannot tell him. It would make it even harder.

The prison guard enters the room, and Riza watched helplessly, hopelessly, as the guard helps Roy up from his seat. Riza opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out except a sob.

Roy's face is tear stained and his eyes are red. He is not even afforded the dignity of wiping away his tears. He looks at her one last time, and she can see all the love and pain there.

"Come along now, Mustang."

Roy turns around slowly and Riza sobs into her hands. His shoulders tense up , although he does not turn around again.

The door slams shut.

That night before they were arrested, Roy turned up at her door. For the first and only time, they let their defences fall.

"I love you", he had whispered against her skin, as they had made love over and over again. What did fraternisation matter when they no longer had their titles.

What he gave her that night was more than he could have realised.

Her hand goes to her belly, only the barest hint of a bump there.

She does not know if there is an afterlife. She hopes so, because she cannot bear the thought of never seeing him again. And if there is, the three of them will be together again.

* * *

 _"It's nothing to cry about_

 _Cause we'll hold each other soon"_

* * *

 **Fin**


End file.
